Free Fall: sequel to Crash and Burn
by celinenaville
Summary: Murdock struggles with his sanity and adjusts to the new way his team mates view him. Featuring: H.M., Face, Hannibal, and B.A.
1. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

_Pull up, man! Pull up!_ Murdock thought to himself as he stared at the blank walls of the VA. His teeth chattered a little and he crossed his arms for comfort.

He had taken a dive into madness. It was inevitable, really. He'd fought it for so long. It had taken _so_ much out of him. And for The Team, he gave up the fight. He let go of the stick, watched the altimeter drop… The plane spin…And down he went, plunging toward the rocks below. There was still a little part of him that resisted it. -That wanted to yank up on that yoke and put the landing gear down, but somehow, he couldn't seem to find the flaps.

So strange that he had come to fear his own mind more than the jungle.

He hugged himself a little tighter. _Don't be afraid to fall_. It had become his mantra over the past few months. Kept him sane.

Sane? Hah! Kept him alive. He had a purpose. He had a mission. He just had to hang in there until the team called on him. They would sooner or later. He _knew_ that. And so he waited. Waited within these four whitewashed walls. Waited within the prison of his own mind.

Waited…

And adjusted. Adjusted to the loss of freedom. To people treating him like he was less than human. Less than a man. He kept his own worth deep inside himself. He knew who he was.

Even on his hardest days—he knew.

And slowly, this place became a home of sorts. These walls. But always he lived for the team. Lived for that call…

Yet he still had his moments, like now, sitting up back against the wall, hugging himself for warmth. Teeth chattering from nerves. Tears that would not come.

_Don't be afraid to fall_. He took a deep breath, calmed himself down. He'd already fallen. It wouldn't get worse than this.

The call to duty came late at night. A voice woke him from his sleep. Someone by the window.

"Murdock!" the hushed whisper called.

He snapped awake. Good God, he knew that voice. It was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard.

He poked his head through the bars of his window. "Faceman?"

"Yes. It's me. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" Then there was a pause and Face stepped to the window, his features illuminated only by moonlight and street lamps.

Murdock felt a lump close his throat. "Good to see you again, muchacho." He ducked his head a bit to hide his emotion.

He could feel Face's gaze on him.

"How are you doing, buddy?" Face asked hesitantly.

"I'm good, Faceman," came the cheerful reply. "Three square meals a day. Roof over my head. Art projects. Talk therapy. A nice vacation, really. How 'bout you?"

"Well, you know, prison just didn't agree with my skin. The soap is drying, and the shampoo wrecked havoc on my hair…and the wardrobe was just not my color—so I had to leave."

Murdock felt alive for the first time in months. "Glad you came to see me, Faceman. Does Hannibal have a plan?"

Face smiled. "Always. First, let' find a way to get to get you out of here."

**Chapter 2**

The first escape from the V.A. wasn't difficult. Face came for visiting hours and slipped Murdock a lab coat. Murdock put it on and together they walked out of the common room right under the staff's noses. No elaborate hoax. No wild getaways. Those would come later, when patient H.M. Murdock going missing became a common occurrence.

The fresh air filled Murdock's lungs as they strode out into the afternoon. He shrugged off his coat to reveal his ever present leather bomber and put his baseball cap on his head.

Free. Now he just needed the other members of the team and he would be whole.

He turned abruptly and hugged Face, thumping him hard on the back.

Face laughed, squirming away, then giving in. "Okay Murdock, let's not get carried away."

Murdock lifted Face onto his toes with the answering crush of his embrace. "I don't care what you say – you're the first person I've had contact with in months that hasn't spoken to me like I'm a mentally impaired hamster. That deserves a hug."

He released Face, who made an elaborate show of trying to breathe. "A hug – or abroken rib?"

Murdock winked mischievously. "Possibly both."

Face shook his head and put his arm around his friend's shoulder. "Murdock, you're crazy."

Murdock put his hands in his pockets. "So I've been told," he replied cheerfully.

He felt the sudden shift in Face's mood.

"You really okay?" Face asked a bit softly.

"Of course, Faceman. Don't you worry about old Howlin' Mad."

Face's sudden somberness didn't lift at the reassurance.

Murdock stopped and looked at his friend searchingly. "What?"

"Well, it's just that the last time we saw you –" He left the words unspoken.

Murdock raised an eyebrow.

"Well it's not like that was exactly normal behavior – even for you!" Face replied defensively. Then a little more calmly, "I've just been worried about you is all."

Murdock raised his hands. "I just told you not to. I'm doin' fine. I'm good, muchacho. I'm real good."

The words sounded hollow even to his own ears.

Murdock felt his heart thump against his ribs when he caught sight of Hannibal and B.A. standing near a black van with red detailing.

He was out of the car jogging toward them almost before Face put it in park.

Hannibal stepped toward him and snapped off a solemn salute, that Murdock returned with feeling.

"Colonel."

"Capt'n."

They locked eyes for a minute, a wordless exchange passing between them. They shared a secret covenant that remained unspoken.

Then Hannibal stepped forward and put his hand on Murdock's shoulder in a fatherly, reassuring gesture.

"Good to see you again Capt'n."

Murdock felt an uncomfortable tightness in his throat. He nodded, swallowed. "And you, sir."

Murdock felt B.A.'s eyes on him, studying him intently ,without guile. The scowl on B.A.'s face was somehow sweetly familiar. Murdock jogged the three paces to him and threw his arms around the sergeant's neck kissing the clean shaven part of his head.

"Hey, Big Guy! Did you miss me?"

The reaction was as expected as if it had been scripted.

"Get off me, Fool! Why would I miss you?" B.A. wrinkled his nose and pushed Murdock back, but as he did, a wave of something akin to fear flashed across the dark eyes. There was something different in the exchange – something more than annoyance.

The expression threw Murdock off balance more than the shove and his smile faded a little as he stepped away.

Hannibal's hand was on his shoulder again, steadying him; pulling him under his arm like the protective wing of an eagle.

"Well men, the team is back together again."

"Where do we go from here though?" Face asked, a bit of worry in his tone.

Hannibal smiled, his arm still around Murdock's shoulders. "Wherever we want to, Lieutenant. Our options are open. But we need to stick together."

Face looked disappointed. B.A. looked annoyed. Hannibal looked delighted.

"If we scatter we're going to be we're going to be vulnerable… but if we stay as a team, we can pull each other out of the fire whenever we need to. Meanwhile, we keep a low profile – _Face,_" Hannibal said emphatically.

Face raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself with mock innocence.

"And in the meantime – I figure we can utilize our training to help those in need… for a modest fee, of course." Hannibal lit up a cigar with a smile.

Face frowned. "What, you mean like vigilantes or something?"

"Or something." Hannibal gestured with the cigar. "We've seen first hand the failings of our justice system."

B.A. scowled. "Hannibal, that's a _terrible_ plan! I don't wanna be no Robin Hood."

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"And what do you propose you do with yourself, BA? Work as a waiter?"

B.A. paused, his customary scowl growing more angry.

"Maybe a teacher. You like children. I'm sure they hire convicted felons."

It was obvious from B.A.'s expression that Hannibal had won the debate.

"And what do we need that fool Murdock for?" B.A. glared at him.

Murdock stepped forward. "What do you mean? For morale," he replied theatrically. "For my joie de vivre, my panache, my charisma! My je ne sais quoi, my oh la la!"

B.A. grabbed his bomber jacket. "Don't you start with me, Murdock!"

Hannibal moved B.A. back with a touch on his arm. "B.A., Murdock is a very important part of my plan."

"I don't like your plan, Hannibal!"

"I'm not so crazy about it either," Face broke in. "How are we going to clear our names?"

Hannibal bit on his cigar. "Umm…I hadn't gotten that far yet."

Face threw his hands up in the air. "Great! So we're no better off than we were two months ago! Why do I listen to you?"

Hannibal narrowed his sky blue eyes, his expression suddenly dangerous. "You want back in your jail cell, Lieutenant? Because I can arrange that."

_I'm the one in jail, _Murdock thought suddenly. He shook his head to clear it. He'd known what he was getting into. He'd accepted the terms – hell, he'd _volunteered_ to do it! His expression must have given something away because, suddenly, all eyes were on him… everyone had moved to a different spot. Had he lost focus for that long?

And their expressions – he'd never seen those expressions before. Face was looking at him with a sort of profound pity. Hannibal, with knowing concern, and B.A… B.A. hurt him most. He looked at him with a mixture of fear and revulsion. They'd never gotten along well. Murdock delighted in tormenting his short-tempered counterpart – but now it seemed as if B.A. mistrusted him. As if Murdock was a disease he might catch.

And it occurred to him. They thought he _was_ crazy. Not eccentric like before. Not off-centered. But crazy. Murdock stood blinking for a moment, shell-shocked, and Hannibal pulled him aside. "Captain, let me have a word with you in private."

Hannibal's hand was warm and solid on Murdock's arm. He drew close. So close they were almost nose to nose. Much later, their "private" pow-wows would take on a comedic twist… a sort of game they played with each other, but this time it was deadly serious.

Hannibal's blue eyes were gentle like a cloudless sky in Autumn. His expression paternal and patient. "Focus, Captain. Stay with me." Murdock brought his gaze to meet Hannibal's. "Tell me what's wrong."

Murdock's mind fought to frame what he was feeling into words. "I don't know where I belong anymore."

"You belong on this team."

Murdock didn't answer.

"Murdock, you aren't crazy. After all you've seen- all you've been through, what would be crazy would be to accept what you experienced in 'Nam as normal. As acceptable. It's not, and it never will be, and it doesn't have to be."

"But Colonel…" the protest died in Murdock's throat. He looked toward B.A..

"B.A. fears what he doesn't understand. He doesn't _want_ to understand you, right now, kid… he's afraid to fall. He's so afraid of it that he's afraid of flying too."

Murdock nodded.

"Now soldier," Hannibal touched the brim of the Captain's baseball cap. "I promise to get you up in a bird very soon."

Murdock brightened. "Up there?" he asked, a look of awe on his face.

Hannibal nodded. "Up there."

A mischievous grin passed across the Captain's angular features. "Can I bring my guinea pig?"

Hannibal considered. "You can bring any animal you want… except wallaby's. You can't trust 'em. Murdock." He shook his head solemnly. "They turn."

Murdock mirrored the expression.

"You can trust Gulliver though, Colonel. He's solid under pressure."

"Your word is as good as bond to me, Captain." Murdock caught the hidden meaning behind the words as Hannibal knew he would. Murdock snapped off a salute and stepped back, once more willing to fill his role.

Hannibal knew. As long as Hannibal knew who he was – he, himself, would know. It could sustain him. It had to. It was enough.

Chapter 4

_Don't be afraid to fall._ Murdock repeated silently to himself as Face's corvette cruised closer to the VA. He didn't want to go back. Every twist of the road brought them closer.

_Don't be afraid to fall._ Murdock glanced at Face's familiar features and drank them all in. The fall of the golden hair-the tilt of his head. The closest thing Murdock would ever come to a brother. The closest thing to family.

He had made the decision that he would die for him long ago. Well, now he would _live_ for him too. Which was infinitely more difficult. And Face would never know.

The VA was in sight now and Murdock's stomach flipped. _Don't be afraid… _and then it occurred to him. He had already fallen. This wasn't the fall. This was the landing. The crash. The aftermath. The fall never killed anyone – it was the impact of the landing that did it.

He closed his brown eyes and took a deep breath. _Roll with the impact._

The car halted. Murdock didn't open his eyes. "Well Murdock, here we are."

When he finally blinked, Face was looking at him with a measuring gaze. "I'll be back for you soon, you know."

Murdock nodded. "Okay, muchacho. Stay outta trouble." He put his hand on the door handle and suddenly, unexpectedly Face said, "Murdock, you're the best."

Murdock looked up at the Lieutenant's thousand watt grin and smiled in return. "I try." He punched Face's arm playfully; his spirit lifted. Face's smile was always contagious. Being the wild card could have its perks. Murdock was nothing if not creative. He'd make the system work for him somehow… and if he had to be within these walls, he'd have as good a time as he could make out of it. He'd embrace his role with relish. He had a purpose. He had a mission. And friends…

He had a team.

His Chuck Taylor's touched the pavement and he got out of the corvette. He closed the door and affected a British accent, "Thank you for the ride to my lair, Templeton." He bowed theatrically. "I hope the staff has turned down my bed and prepared my evening meal."

Face winked. "Take care." He shifted gears and speed off the way they'd come.

Murdock watched the tail lights fade, and with them his momentary hope. He squared his shoulders with a soldier's resolve and prepared to walk back into the wreckage of his life.

Finis.

**I hope this worked, I'm having trouble updating the chapters correctly. Thanks for all reviews!**


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